So many things come to mind when I think of my friend Jason Pinsky. I have known Jason for almost 19 years, and from middle school all the way through high school, we were very close friends due to one common bond and that is we wrestled for the prestigious Owings Mills junior league and high school wrestling program. I was two years older then Jason, so after I graduated high school, we kind of went separate ways. It wasn’t until almost two years ago that I had the opportunity to work in the same office with him. It was very entertaining on a daily basis, as anything could have occurred, but most importantly to me is that we were gradually re-building our friendship again.

About a year later, we had to switch to a new company, and about three months after that we had to leave that new company as well because it was slowly falling apart. So it was at that point Jason approached me and asked if we wanted to work on our own and I accepted. It was from that point on, that not only our business relationship became strong, but most importantly our friendship became even stronger.

I am about to turn 30, and those final 3 ½ months that I had to spend everyday working with Jason, it was probably the most important 3 ½ months of my life. Before I started writing this eulogy, I read another eulogy from a friend of ours name Evan Kremer, and he stated “If you have one really good friend in a lifetime then you are a lucky person.” Though Jason and I separated away for quite a few years, those final 3 ½ months felt like a lifetime, and he wasn’t only a good friend but my best friend.

Now comes the questions I have always had to ask myself over this tragedy for the past year. For a longtime, Jason had friends a lot closer to me in Evan, Paul, his father, his brother, and many more. I ask why did God choose me of all people to find Jason on that tragic day, a day that I now have to live with and constantly visualize the scene over and over again in my head? For several years, I sacrificed a lot in order to earn an Associates and a Bachelors degree in teaching and only one semester away of student teaching to be a certified Physical Education teacher, which I gave up to enter the mortgage field only because I had as second child at that time and I financially would not have been able to student teach and support two children. Was it destined that God purposely chose this path for me? I was 5 months away, of many years of hard work in becoming a physical education teacher, and all of the sudden I switched my field to the mortgage industry. Did this occur to help better financially secure my family or was it just a future road to draw a friendship a lot closer again and make up for the years that we did not see each other?

In another tragic comparison, in May of 1997, my best friend at the time Doug Adams died in a car accident. Many times I always imagined what if I was in the car with Doug, and I was one of the people that spent that last second of his life with him before he passed on, how would I have been affected? At the same time though I have to realize I could be gone to even though the two passengers survived. How would I have explained to people what occurred up to that last second.

So I use both of these comparisons, and as tragic as it is, it is kind of special to me not to be part of this tragedy, but to be part of that person as they passed on. In my opinion it gives me important values of life. You may still continue to live the same everyday life even before the tragedy, but on the inside where nobody can see, you begin to understand how appreciative life is.

This past week came joy to the world, as our friend Evan Kremer and his wife Lisa just had a baby boy (congratulations Evan and Lisa), but I know Evan and Lisa are also sharing that grief that Jason is not around to be part of it even though everyone will say he was there in spirit. This is the same thing as I had to go through when I had my first child and in addition to me getting married as well, as it all happened to me within a year of my friend Doug’s passing especially knowing he most likely would have been the best man in my wedding, and it was a lot of emotions that surrounded it. So the great thing is that Jason, Doug, Evan, and myself all knew each other and everyone of us is part of something that does occur.

One of the hardest things that I have had to experience besides always remembering that tragic day is that I have a tattoo of Jason and Doug. Quite often, both of my kids touch my tattoo’s and ask what that is, and for now all I can say is that it is paint with no explanation behind it. How do you explain to a 5 and 2 year old that two of your best friends are in heaven at young ages?

Another thing that touches me is a song (I believe) by “Creed”. I have heard the song a few times but never really paid attention to the words until one day. One of the lines (I believe) is “I’m standing here 6 feet from the ground, but now I’m thinking, maybe 6 feet isn’t so far down.” To me that reflects that when we go visit either Jason or anyone else, they are so far from us in heaven, yet only 6 feet away from us on Earth, and in reality they are not far away from us in spirit.

Some other things that I know that have touched Jason’s brother Brian and I is the atmosphere that we now become a part of. Currently right now, both Brian and I work for Executive Financial Services and we couldn’t be any happier. We work with a core of very respectable peers and we know Jason would have been very happy in this new environment. Since joining here Brian and I have been part of several things (mainly boxing)that included either work peers or friends and family. We got to go see Rahman-Tua II in Philadelphia, a few amateur and Ballroom boxing events, and then a big group of us got to go see an historical boxing fight of Ward-Gatti III in Atlantic City (which was kind of the same weekend as Jason’s father’ (Dave) birthday, my wife’s birthday, and a couple that went with us their anniversary). As great as all this was, everyone had it in the back of their minds and in their hearts, Jason would have loved to been here.

Something that is beginning to hit me more is the truth that Jason’s brother Brian was told in a group meeting, right around when Jason would have turned 28. They told him a birthday can’t even compare to “the day of,” and they are right. Except on my part of it is the “the day of” actually started earlier. Last year (2002) I had a crab feast on Labor day weekend and Jason was so excited for it. I had a ton of food, I invited all of my close friends, but unfortunately I believe that was the first time Jason got hospitalized and he was upset afterwards that he couldn’t attend.

Now the part that is always going to stick with me is not “the day of,” but a holiday that lead up to “the day of,” and that is how I approach it. When people are going to be very excited that it is another national holiday and another day off of school or work, I see it as a beginning of a tragedy. I finally conclude, as much as I want Jason to be with us again but I can’t do anything to change what happened, but if I had the choice to be that close to him for those final 3 ½ months again and to be the one to find him on that tragic day I would say “YES.” Not so much to re-live that tragedy at that last moment because I wouldn’t put that on anyone to live that type of instant moment, but to better prepare myself for my own children, just in case if I ever have to come across this situation ever again. I wasn’t ready for this moment in my life, but Jason’s tragedy has educated me, and he may be the reason why I possibly might have to save someone in more years to come (though God forbid I ever have to come across this ever again).

Finally my tattoo of Jason reads “Partners For Life,” as he was not only my business partner until the end, but most importantly my closest friend until the end

Kenny Gendason

- BACK -